*helmine

It's been more than a year since I posted the last time. Don't think I submitted anything last year either-- haven't been by much. Spent the last few days going through my messages-- didn't have many personal messages, but a lot of journals from people I watch- which I mostly deleted, spot checking. There are still 15 left... those have links I want to follow.

So why a whole year? Last time I paid much attention to DA, there were some nasty politics around, which there still are, but on stylized behavioral mute. I missed the occasion of the site redesign, but like the new features and speed, so I'm not going to comment much, except that I wish that the zoomed view wasn't on a white page, like the print store. My point about the politics, though, was that I was sick of intraorganizational politics. Probably not so much a reflection on DA as on another organization I'm tied to, the largest anime convention in the Southwest, oldest continuing one in America. Burning out. Well, that's a lot better now, I've gotten some distance. But I did have an alienation from art through anime. There's so much anime now, I don't even know most of it, I can't. I don't even like most of it any more. I've been drawing anime-style stuff since the 80s, and I think I traded away a lot of personal art development for involvement in convention staff. And when that gets old, so does the subject. And when you realize that nearly everyone you know, you know through conventions, that's your main thing in common, and you're alienated from your convention-- I would say, estranged actually. My gathering of anime fans to celebrate the love and joy of cartoons and neat stuff to buy has swollen into a 12,000 attendance 5 day (even though the show is only 3 days) thinly controlled riot which takes the concentrated powers of hundreds of staff people to keep from wrecking the largest hotel in the city and the multi-year contract we have with it. And who the hell are these people? I love that people love anime and cosplay and come to our show, but I can't even say I'm estranged from them, because I don't know them from adam. All I know is they flock to our hotel, whoop and scream and argue and smell terrible, litter, and complain and complain, while also having great parties to which I am not invited, and wonderful times in which I'm not included, because I'm busy facilitating, in an absolutely unpaid, near thankless servant capacity. I have a love/hate thing going there, as you might imagine.

Well, anyway, I've been coming to terms with that. And not drawing a lot of anime people. And looking for another fandom for which I feel a passion. And knitting a lot, watching my friends have babies. Gardening. Building a life of friendship with people I care for where we have a lot in common besides conventions, even though most of us still love them. Getting used to a new computer. Playing a lot of WoW, and lately, Sims2.

I got a digital camera recently, and hope to start taking a lot of pictures. Don't worry that I'm going to flood my gallery with them. I only plan to post a few choice ones, have a slide show somewhere else. I do want to document my knitting projects, because I make some nice things. Plus I've started drawing again. In backing away from the anime style (doubt I'll ever completely drop it), I've discovered I took a lot of stylized shortcuts with figure drawing and other aspects which saved me from actually learning how to compose properly. I need a lot of painting practice. I still haven't learned vector drawing either, which I'm quite interested in.

So there are the bits I hope to grow into something to put in the old gallery. Thanks for reading, and for your attention.